Never
by moodiful819
Summary: He was always told to never say never.


This oneshot can sort of be counted as the sequel to Statistics, but really, I just wanted to make another oneshot that incorporated something I remembered hearing and found funny.

Key: "Talking"

'_Thought'_

* * *

_Never say 'never.'_

_Never say 'never.'_

He couldn't believe just how many times he'd heard that in his lifetime. He'd heard it from other jounin, chunnin, old ladies, even genin, but the first time was when his mother was still alive. He'd been three at the time. After trying and trying to catch a lizard that constantly dodged him in his efforts to catch it, he just fell onto his rump, gave a frustrated growl, and pouted, but not before saying, _"I'm never gonna catch that lizard."_

His mother smiled. At least, he thinks she did. He couldn't remember what she had done. So much time had passed since then and so many memories were made painful (this being one of them), but he remembered she was highly amused with her son's uncharacteristic temper tantrum.

He also remembered her as very beautiful. Her hair was a shiny raven color. It was very long and very soft. She prided herself on it and took very good care of it. It reminded him of obsidian. Smooth, shiny, and an almost endless ebony color. Her eyes were brown…or maybe they were black like his. No, he got his face from his father, but he remembered getting his mother's smile. The villagers would always gush over how he had received his father's looks, but also received his mother's dazzling smile. Nowadays, that smile was hidden under false pleasantries and a scrap of fabric, but it'd come out once in a blue moon and he was surprisingly happy about that.

Back to his lizard, he remembered his mother chuckle at him and bent down to see her pouting son. He remembered her reaching forward to brush his silver hair from his face and smile at him. _"Never say 'never,' Kakashi-kun. It means you give up."_

"_But I do give up!"_ he huffed.

"_You don't mean that."_

"_Yes, I do!"_ he whined, stamping his legs up and down in frustration.

She simply smiled. _"No, you don't."_

"_Why not?"_ he snapped.

His mother smiled at him as if she never heard him snap at her. She had always been a patient soul, bless her heart. _"Because giving up is bad. It's saying you don't want to do anything anymore. It means you don't care anymore. I don't want you to give up. I want you to go after what you want. Don't give up, Kakashi. Mommy will be sad if you do."_ she said and he felt his frustration melt away at the pleading in her eyes.

"_I'll never give up."_ he told her. She nodded and she kissed his forehead before pointing at the lizard that sat basking in sun atop a rock. He gasped and ran over and pounced on it. Smiling in glee at his catch, he promptly stuck the squirming reptile in his mouth and smiled at his mother.

He'd never felt happier in his life at that point, but soon after, she died and a few years later, his father gave up and killed himself. At his funeral, he remembered what his mother told him. _"Because giving up is bad. It's saying you don't want to do anything anymore. It means you don't care anymore."_ He spat the words at his father's photo while he wondered just what his mother would think of him after what he did next.

He poured his being into training and took the Chunnin Exams. He remembered a genin girl spare him a glance and give him a fond word. _"Never give up hope."_ They were nice words, but they'd come too late. He'd given up the day his father's friends betrayed him and he stepped foot into the room painted with his father's blood, a sword jutting from his stomach.

After that, he was signed up with his two teammates: a girl named Rin and the Uchiha named Obito. The girl was like every other female he'd met up to that point: a fangirl who was completely enamored with him. Sometimes, he swore he could see those hearts in his eyes, but that was probably dehydration. At least, he hoped it was.

The male was another story. If someone asked him what he felt for the male at that time, he would've said this: annoyance, hatred, and possibly exasperation. He was constantly late and could cry at the drop of a hat. To be blunt, he never had any hope for his team, only him and his sensei, but it could've been worse. He could've had Gai on his team.

Their village was at war at that point in his life, so when he finally perfected his jutsu and gotten that scroll, he couldn't have happier. He would succeed where his father had failed, but as they walked to their destination and Rin was kidnapped. Kakashi said to keep going and Obito ran off to find Rin.

When Obito spoke the words that he would adopt as his own motto, he regained his faith in the people he could call 'friends,' but as soon as he thought that, he lost one.

He got a parting gift and after that, he remembered nothing but the gravestone. Rin visited him once there, to say a final goodbye before heading onto a mission that she never returned from. As the rain beat down on his back, he remembered her asking him, _"Will you ever let go of your guilt?"_

"_Never."_

The next few years were a blur. Between Anbu missions and the smell of blood, he remembered the bar he used to visit. He met Genma there. Him and his other drinking buddies. He remembered drinking more alcohol than he should and remembered the slurred question Genma posed him. _"Do you think you'll ever live past thirty?"_

"_Never."_ he replied, but Iruka tried to sway him with that phrase once more. _"Never say 'never.'"_ he slurred before falling flat on his face into the table and the sake spilled from his cup. Kakashi remembered laughing at him after that, but the words stayed with him. He didn't pay any mind to actually following those words, but the thought was comforting.

The next time he remembered hearing this was a few years after this. It was when Asuma was still alive and no one knew that Kurenai was pregnant. They were in a bar again; the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke hung in the air. He remembered feeling very thankful for his mask that night. He remembered drinking a lot that night too, but he remembered having the ability to stand straight afterwards. Genma and Asuma on the other hand…

_Asuma laughed heartily over the sound of glasses and the mingling conversations of the other tables. The ruby-eyed kunoichi at his side laughed too and promptly fell asleep on his shoulder. A soft look passed the blue-tinted raven-haired man's face as he gazed over the sleeping woman. "You ever think of getting married, Kakashi?"_

"_Never." he said before knocking back another cup of sake, the liquid sliding down his throat. Asuma laughed heartily at that, slapping his knee as his face flushed further. Kakashi simply swirled the sake in his hand. He didn't see how that was funny at all…_

A sharp jab was felt in his side and an undignified snort escaped him before the sound of a feminine giggle filled his ears. He blinked his eyes open and squinted as the fading sunset hit his eyes. Raising an arm to shield his eyes, he turned to see his former student giggling at his side. Then again, he probably shouldn't think of her as a former student anymore.

Kakashi reached forward, catching her in his grasp as he pulled her against his body. He reached for her hand, raising it to the fading light of the day and watched in wonderment as the ring on her finger caught the beams of light.

As he held his wife, he found himself lost in his thoughts once more (only this time, he was conscious). Mulling over his dream of memories, he realized that he'd been wrong about a lot of things in his life. He had given up, numerous times in his life. He'd lived to see age thirty (now at the happy age of 37), and he had gotten married, to his former student, Haruno Sakura.

'_Hatake Sakura now.'_ he corrected himself.

As they sat in the glow of the fading sun, he felt Sakura shift in his lap and bite her lip. She was nervous about something. "What's wrong?"

She looked back at him, beryl staring into coal. "Do you regret marrying me?"

He was shocked at the words, but replied in his normal, calm tone. "No."

"Do you ever regret falling in love with me?"

"No." he answered, his fingers lacing with the fine tendrils of her pink hair. It was a lot like his mother's. Just as long, just as smooth, just as soft.

She turned in his lap to face him, his gloved hand buried in the hair at the side of her head. Her hand held his left, her thumb brushing against his wedding band. "Are you ever going to stop loving me?"

He saw the look of genuine fear in her eyes and removed the hand in her hair to cup her cheek, his thumb gently brushing over porcelain skin. He leaned forward and moved both hands to cup her face as her hands rested on his thighs. "Never." he breathed against her lips before bringing her in for a tender kiss.

He was told all his life to never say 'never,' because it would upset his mother and he'd been wrong about these things before, but his mother would forgive him as she always had and besides, this was something he knew he could say 'never' to, and still be right.


End file.
